Thoughts on Self and Love, Clayface movie modern tragedy

I just came from seeing the new Clayface movie. It was a fantastic watch that left me a little depressed. Instead of another generic hero/villian movie, it was a moving tragedy that left a heart wrenching feeling. I know very little about the intentions of the movie, or what the producers were going for, but it truly was a tragedy. Love, regret, hate, redemption, hope, fear, all these were in the movies. However, this is not a movie critique. Please spare me such a work.

There is something so tragic in being your own worst enemy. Especially when it comes to love. The main protagonist of the movie, Matt Hagen had an opportunity at a new life! Few if any get such a redo in life. However, his permenant downfall was even more tragic than his first. He never knew who he was. A guy who literally couldve been anyone he wanted, decided to be a monster. Whether it was a side affect of his mutation that he lost his mind, or that his dealings with evil broke his worldview, his identity was ultimately shattered. 

All drama aside he could've lived a normal life. He practically had the girl of his dreams within an arms length. Yet it was his eventual actions which sealed his fate. At the end he chose to be a monster. His decision is worth examining. Theres a famous quote by Nietzch that says, 

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you (Neitzsche, Beyond Good and Evil). 

It is artfully Ironic that Matt Hagen an actor expresses that he has been living a lie his whole life.

"All my life I've been living a lie. Pushing my feelings down so I wouldn't get it replaced. Someone else was the only time I let myself feel anything. That wasn't real" (Clayface, 2026). 

Could he really be anyone else? After losing his life, his friends, his wealth, who could he be? Despite losing everything he held on to hope yet what put the nail in the coffin for Matt Hagen was the betrayal of his close friend. Ironically there's a line in the movie that echoes what Nietzche expresses. One of the cops says, "Well, what can I tell you? You lie with dogs, you get fleas"(Clayface, 2026). Hagen had no choice but to become a monster. It was either his old life back or death. Unfortunetly he came back a monster. Continuing the thread of examination, is there a question that can be asked. Like one that questions whether deep down we are to some extent monsters, living in a broken world filled with undeniable evil. 

Are we living a tragedy of our own where we are chasing our tails wondering who we are? Turn your attention now to matters of love. See if where we are most vulnerable our true nature does not come out. What do we become, or rather what comes out, when we are in the darkness of love? The extent of this darkness immeasurable. Love brings out fear in some. At times it brings out our worst flaws only because we fear. What exactly do we fear? 

Theres a famous quote attributed to Frank Kafka by online users on social media platforms. It goes like this: 

"I ran from love because I knew it would destroy me"

Love destroys because our hearts are little prickly monsters hidden, tucked away from everyday life. It's a danger really, or rather a reality for alot. Running around, occupied with daily cares that we too become like actors. Wearing masks to hide who we really are. And in fact we ourselves loose sight of this inner self that when love comes knocking we are suprised to see who answers.

Rene Magritte - The Lovers (1928)

And yet, it can not be that we could change this very part of ourselves. Perhaps it mainstream pessimism, there are people who add another layer of meaning not knowing who we are. Truly terrifying. Our hearts open up the door not only to ourselves, but also to others. Who knows if our monster, or theirs is worse? 

And so Franz Kafka might be on to something. Our true selves are tested, in battle, when we fall in love. One must die. Will it be me or them? Then of course the question of why me? What are we willing to suffer in the name of love? 

All these questions present nuances and realities that are impossible to figure out. Focusing in on the inner monster though, and in the blatant cases of those souls who suffer from selfish and narcisstic behavior, not by choice but again, by fear, this monster must die, but paradoxically it is fought to be guarded. 

In this case we become our worst enemy and our best friend. To break free of old habits, repressed and hidden tucked away, hoping to be loved by our dear ones is a common sentiment expressed in movies and books and now more popularly in social media by young influencers, who I believe add a scent of delusion mixed with romantic sentiment, that our inner monster must not only be accepted, but loved and even nurtured. The nerve am I right? Love in this sense can not be imagined to destroy, let alone injure, or reform, and challenge who we are. Our monster must be served in sacrifice of the others. 

Caravaggio - Narcissus (c. 1597-1599)

It is in the spirit of self preservation that we opt out the path of least resistance. We do not know how to change and so I must protect my monster which both hurts me and protects me; It protects me by giving me comfortable and familiar paths. These paths always lead to the same choices and hence mistakes, yet I continue to make them because ..... why? 

This question defies all logic and adresses the mystery of the human heart. Our world view can feel impossible to change. And so once because of evil I became a monster, how can I ask to change, when we do not know if were at anytime anything other, except now, in the messy mix of love, I am who I am.